


I want to give you everything

by Mimisempai



Series: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas [4]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Christmas proposal, Gift Exchange, M/M, Rafael give it all, fluff fluff and fluff, kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28079289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mimisempai/pseuds/Mimisempai
Summary: Sonny is struggling to find a Christmas present for Rafael. As for Rafael...
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Series: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2052099
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	I want to give you everything

Sonny groaned and pushed aside the day's mail with frustration. After not finding anything very appropriate in specialty stores, he had requested nearly two dozen catalogs from stores around the world selling books, special Cuban coffee brands, classy and expensive clothes, desperate to find a Christmas gift for Rafael. And yet, he had found nothing worthy of him. All his ideas seemed banal and cliché to him. He could only hear Rafael open such a gift. "Oh, another tie. How... nice."

He shook his head. Boy, if it was so hard to find the perfect gift when it was only their second Christmas together, it probably wouldn't be possible when they celebrate their tenth or twentieth anniversary.

Even though there was no one around, Sonny blushed at the thought. He didn't dare believe it, but yes, he saw such a future with Rafael. More, he could see it forever.

Now, if only he could get a glimpse that Rafael felt the same way.

Sonny heard a knock on the door and, after quickly throwing away evidence of his unsuccessful search for gifts, he went to answer it.

"Rafael!" he said, greeting him with a warm kiss. "Why did you knock? You know you can come in as if you were at home."

"Christmas is a time of secrets," said Rafael. "I wouldn't want to risk spoiling one of yours."

Sonny laughed and took Rafael's coat. "You can be such a delicate man."

"Absolutely," said Rafael.

They sat on the sofa in front of the fire, each with a glass of scotch in hand, Rafael with his arm around Sonny's shoulders. It was one of the young man's favorite positions. Oh, certainly, there were others he preferred too, positions that usually involved much less clothing, but there was a certain inimitable kind of intimacy that accompanied domestic moments like these. It was warm, safe, comfortable.

"You seem distracted," Rafael noted, "Is something wrong?"

"No, not exactly," Sonny said with a sigh. "It's just that it's impossible to find."

Rafael chuckled. "Are you still having trouble finding something? I already told you you have nothing to worry about."

"I know," Sonny said. "I just want to give you something special."

"Sonny, everything you..."

"Yes, yes, I know," said Sonny. "But it just seems extra important this year."

Rafael kept quiet. "And why is that?"

"I don't know," said Sonny. His neck was warm and he knew that he was beginning to blush, but he couldn't hide from this conversation forever. "I just feel that we have something really incredible. I mean, I always thought we did, but last year... It just feels more... real. Solid."

"Permanent," said Rafael. His tone was flat, but Sonny could see his eyes blazing with the most intensity he'd ever seen.

"Yes," Sonny said. He shook Rafael's hand, "I no longer wake up in the morning afraid that it's just a dream that's going to slip through my fingers. I just wanted something to commemorate it."

"I do." Rafael emptied his glass and put it aside. "And that's why I've decided to help you."

"Oh?"

"Yes," Rafael said, standing up. He walked to where his coat was hanging and took out of one of the pockets something wrapped in green paper with silver tape. "I've decided to buy my own Christmas present this year."

Sonny blinked. "Did you really think I'd screw it up so badly?"

"Not at all," Rafael said quickly. "I only saw it and thought of you, but I realized that if I gave it to you as your own present, it would seem pretty selfish, because I'm the one who wins in this case."

Sonny frowned. "I don't understand anything about what you just said."

"Just open this." Rafael said eagerly. His shoulders were pulled back, his jaw tight. Sonny wanted to reach out to hug him, to see his expression soften, but he couldn't shake the feeling that Rafael would literally break in half if he touched him even a little.

"Okay, then," Sonny said. "But I'm still going to get you something."

"Yes, yes, come on." said Rafael.

"Fine," said Sonny, and, fearing for Rafael's mental health, he quickly tore up the wrapping paper and opened a little box.

Inside was a Christmas ornament, a white ball with the words "S&R" printed in black letters on the front. Sonny lifted it by the red ribbon attached to it to examine it more closely.

"It's very beautiful," Sonny said. "I'm going to hang it right in front of the tree."

"But that doesn't make much sense in the present situation, does it?" Rafael asked. "Indeed, technically, it's still only your Christmas tree, which belongs only to you, whereas this ball suggests something else."

"What are you saying?" Sonny asked, his heart beating hard in his chest. "You want to share-"

"It's up to you, Sonny. It is, after all, your gift to me." He sat down next to Sonny, and turned to him and took his hands in his own. "The only thing I can ask of you at Christmas is a shared future. Whether it's sharing a Christmas ornament, a house, or marriage, or even just the continuation of what we have -"

"All of this," Sonny said immediately. "All that and more. Everything you want."

Rafael took Sonny's face in his hands and kissed him deeply. "Thank you," he said as they parted, in a hoarse voice.

"Thank you," Sonny said as he led Rafael back to the couch. "Do you mean it? Would you like to marry me?"

"I'd marry you tomorrow," said Rafael. "I just thought you might want more time. If you weren't sure -"

"I'm sure," said Sonny. "Very, very sure."

Rafael smiled and wrapped a strong arm around Sonny's waist. "That's all I could have asked for."

"But I still think it's cheating," Sonny said. "After this, I really need to find you something special. How can I call this your Christmas present when I feel like it's my birthday, Christmas and another incredible holiday that hasn't even been created yet, all in one?

Rafael pressed Sonny's hand and kissed him once again. "This, my Sonny, is just because I want to give you everything."

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Sarah for the beta !


End file.
